How to perform confidently (even when you’re not)
This is not “fake it till you make it” but learning to say “fuck it, this is the best I can do today”.
Photo by Fabian Hammerl.
It is a reality that we often have to rise to challenges that we don’t feel quite ready for. When something feels very difficult and you still decide to do it even though you could run from the challenge, this is an act of bravery. Here’s a story and a few tips that could help you along if your English is not something you feel very confident about, but something that you still have to perform with.
A few weeks ago, I was asked to perform a short poem in front of 800 people at the opening ceremony of the Product at Heart Conference. On the day, I made a short video about this task and how I was able to do it. You can watch the video here and read a blog post about the conference.
How to like people
Click on the image to see me perfoming this poem at the opening of the “Product at Heart” conference.
But to be honest, this job was not a difficult challenge for me.
If you feel very insecure about performing or public speaking, it might be difficult to believe that this wouldn’t be scary but actually, I’ve done so much theatre and performance work at this point that performing this poem was completely within my comfort zone. I took it seriously, of course, and prepared by learning and rehearsing the piece, but I can’t say that I was very nervous or that I doubted my ability to deliver.
What I was quite nervous about though, was another performance job that I had this summer: Being one of the cabaret hosts in “Die Namenlosen” by the Austrian immersive theatre group Nesterval. This massive piece, running over 15 shows the Kampnagel Internationales Sommerfestival and featuring 25 actors in a huge set in an abandoned warehouse was a challenge. Why? Because it was my job not only to put on a nice costume and perform but to sing! On stage! In front of people!
Now, my singing, I would say, is “okay-ish”. I’ve always enjoyed singing, I used to be in a choir, and I love karaoke (and there’s plenty of evidence!). But this was a different level, which became abundantly clear when I travelled to Vienna in June to see the show that I was going to perform in. The role I was supposed to take over in Hamburg, the cabaret host, was played in Vienna not just by a singer, but by a professional opera star!
My first reaction (after watching and loving the show obviously) was embarrassment. When I met the performers after the show and they all started their conversations with “Ah, you’re going to play Frances in Hamburg? Great! Are you a singer too?”, I didn’t really know what to tell them. But it was clear to me that I really wanted to do the project and so I decided not to run from the challenge but to work through it.
Here’s where all this ties back into the reason you’re reading this: I promised this would be relevant to you if you feel insecure about your English.
Singing as a skill is something that we can compare to speaking English very easily:
A lot of people would say you need talent for it.
Many people think they can’t do it and so they keep their mouths shut.
Getting over your fears and doing it can be insanely fun and liberating.
So, seeing as I’m not that great at singing, what did I do to prepare for this role? Here’s a summary:
Downloaded a vocal training app and used it 4-5 times per week.
Trained my diaphragm and focused on my posture.
Listened to the songs I would have to sing, performed by various singers and found the ones I liked best.
Started singing along to the songs.
Printed the lyrics and made notes on pauses, intonation, etc.
Got advice from my partner (who’s a great singer & musician) on the parts that were difficult.
Practiced together with my fellow performer.
Learned that in order to sing well, I needed to sing loudly, even if it was scary and I felt sorry for my neighbours!
Remembered that the reason I got the job was not my technical skill level but my personality. They wanted me to play this role, and not a dream version of me!
Even though I still didn’t feel completely ready, when the time came, I went on stage and told myself, “Fuck it”*.
*sorry for the harsh language but I learned this one from an acting teacher a long time ago and it’s ✨MAGIC✨.
Here are the same steps for you if you have an important challenge coming up for your English, like a presentation or an interview:
If you have time, get a fun app to get you started speaking easily. I really like FluentU.
Do vocal exercises for actors and work on your body language to increase your confidence. This is really powerful – don’t skip this step!
Find examples to follow: TEDTalks, podcasts, etc. – Find speakers you like listening to and make them your models!
Imitate the speakers you like, taking bits and pieces like their intonation, phrases, or gestures that you can incorporate into your own style.
Write out what you need to say into a script. Go over it multiple times, adding the pauses and other melodic notes like you are preparing a piece of music!
For the difficult parts, get help from a friend or a professional (like me!) so you can work through the words and phrases that are tricky for you.
Practice with someone you feel comfortable with. This can be just you alone, then a plant, then a cat/baby/friend etc… but make sure you practice with someone before you do it!
You cannot improve your speaking if you’re only talking to yourself in your head. You need to open your mouth. Get the words out and get used to the sound of your voice. Recording yourself can be a very powerful learning tool!
Remember that there’s a reason you’ve been asked to speak about this topic. You know a lot about this and you have knowledge to share. People will care more about what you have to say than how you say it!
Realise that you are probably still not going to feel 100% ready on the day. This is normal. Take a deep breath, tell yourself “Fuck it” and do it anyway.
So how did it go for me? Well, wonderfully actually. I’m still not the world’s greatest singer but I manage to perform my songs and I’m getting great feedback about my performance. It’s been a great experience being part of this project and I’m glad that I decided to do it even though I was not confident about my singing ability.
Remember, always, that it’s not about talent. Your skills can become much, much better with targeted practice; no matter if we’re talking about singing or your English vocabulary, grammar or pronunciation.
So if I can go up on stage and sing, you can perform in English!
And if you need help, check out my group programme Express your Self which I designed to help you feel more confident right now and to improve your English in a way that helps you feel powerful. ☻
